As most of my followers will know, I am an ftm transexual (often reffered to as transgendered person or transguy) and I am doing my best to transition to a point where I am comfortable enough in my body.

It is a particularly unpleasant thing to grow up being told you have to act and dress and feel a certain way and knowing that you never will. We all experience this to some degree. But imagine waking up one day in the wrong body, with the wrong parts. Every time you shower or dress or look in the mirror you are reminded that people do not see you how you see yourself. You feel wrong, you feel so uncomfortable and everyone only tells you it will pass, it’s normal, or that you shouldn’t feel that way at all and you should be glad about what you have. When you speak it is with someone else’s voice and when you are spoken to it isn’t you they’re speaking to at all. They are speaking to someone you don’t know and can’t relate to. You want desperately to just wake up in the right body, to go back in time and be born the right way, but you can’t.

One day you discover that there are people out there who feel the same way, you realize that they have taken steps to gain that comfort in themselves and you realize that all along, it really wasn’t you who was wrong.

But then you face a new kind of evil. People fight you, with their perceptions, with their beliefs and their judgments, with their ignorance and with their laws. They make it almost impossible for you to be recognized as who you are, they make it terrifying, dangerous and really REALLY expensive.

I’ve spent most of my life not asking for help, being made to believe that asking for help was a weakness, a sin almost, being told that I was pathetic, that it was my fault if things were going wrong.

But I was lucky enough to fall into an amazing group of people, both out there in the real world, and here on tumblr. These People embraced me for who I am and taught me how to take care of myself again. Now I am trying to save for hormones and surgery. 

I’ve taken a lot of big steps in the last year and some. I have a lot of reasons to be proud and a lot of reasons to be grateful, but I need a bit of help to take the next step. 

If any of you could gift me any small amount of money to help me out with saving for my surgery, I will be so very grateful and in debt to you all.

Even if you can only help by reblogging. it would be much appreciated.

thank you
-Max

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